A Glimpse of what is to come...

Adam and I have chosen not to have a TV in our house. So it is very seldom that we actually get to watch a movie, but last night in order to get me to escape from my studies, he bought the movie Martian Child for us to watch on my laptop. I am still trying to understand exactly what it was about the movie that touched us both so much, but by the end we were both teary eyed. It really was one of the best nights of our marriage so far, it opened us both up to talk about our inner desires and what we both want for our future. We poured our hearts out to eachother, and spent about an hour talking to God, asking Him to lead us into His plan and purpose in our lives, and to use us as He desires.

The movie is about a boy that has been abandoned by his birth parents, and has been in and out of foster homes. In order to shield himself from the pain of getting close to people, he lives in his own imaginary world in which he is convinced that he is a martian from Mars. As the movie began, something that was said or done, triggered a memory for me of this past year in Mozambique. I remember one day this boy showed up at the orphanage whom I wasnt able to talk to (he wouldnt speak to anyone), but something about him touched me, and the memory of his face has been engraved on my heart. He was young, I would say almost, or just barely a teenager, wearing an army jacket, but it was his solemn face that disturbed me. He refused to play with any of the kids, and they seemed to know to stay away from him and give him his space. I remember God breaking my heart for this boy, and I just sat back and watched him for awhile. He seemed so sad, almost angry, alone in his own world. His eyes were so heart piercing, I felt like this was a boy who had whitnessed or been afflicted to alot of pain, but my few attempts to communicate with him failed. The next day he was gone, and I never saw him again.

Of all the memories I have of this past year, this boys face, his eyes, have struck me the hardest and have stayed with me the longest. I have always felt God calling me to Africa, and I know that I have a heart for children, especially orphans and foster kids. Since returning home, I have been devouering every book I can get my hands on about child soldiers and The Lost Boys and Girls from Sudan and other parts of the world. For some reason, I really have a heart for these children. I pray that there are organizations that are specifically helping the children that have been forced into being child soldiers learn how to once again be children. I hope there are people loving them, showing them God's love and forgiveness, and helping them emotionally cope and understand that it is not their fault. I pray that there are people who are willing to patiently wait for their unspoken words to turn into stories, and that when they do tell their stories that they are willing to really listen and try to understand.

Adam naturally has a heart for orphans, because he is one, and has had to deal with the emptiness and uncertainty of not knowing his birth parents and his heritage. We both have hearts to love children, we are just at the point where we know God is going to use us in some way, shape, or form, we just have no idea what that looks like right now. We have been talking about the possibility of starting an adventure camp for children, with an emphasis on outdoor leadership, survival skills, and care for the environment. We would love to be able to be able to take underprivelaged and low income children into our camp and teach them outdoor recreation skills and activities that are often only availiable for higher income families. But this is just one of many ideas, and we both feel like we are being called to Africa (Tanzania) among a few other places along our route for a few months this coming winter as well.

Its so amazing to me how God can use something as mindless as a video to trigger His purpose and plan for your life. I know someday we will be working with children, but that is about all I know. I know that I am drawn to the children of Africa, especially the boys, and still, that is about all I know. I also know that I believe in a God that has a specific plan and purpose for my life, therefore, although I want to know now, I will wait and let Him guide our steps, wherever He may take us. I have found, that it is the patience that is the hardest part of the journey.

And so, with a glimpse of what is to come, I am learning to be patient.